10 Smart Moves to Make When Nothings Going Right in Your Life

10 Smart Moves to Make When Nothings Going Right in Your Life10 Smart Moves to Make When Nothings Going Right in Your LifeIn the Army, I taught an introductory course on what to do if you became a prisoner of war. Id start by saying that I hoped this would be the least relevant course the students ever took.Thats my hope here too- although the truth is, things fall apart in peoples lives all the time. Maybe its a relationship, a job, a business- something that makes up the bedrock youre accustomed to standing on.Tuesday, its there Wednesday its gone. Thursday, you still have to function.All of which leads us to todays lesson. When things arent going right, how do you keep moving forward? Here are 10 ideas.1. Nose Down, Do Your JobThe top federal prosecutor in Manhattan is named Preet Bhrara (Disclosure His brother is the CEO of my company). In a speech a couple of years ago, Preet suggested success involves emulating a line from the movie The DepartedBe the guy who does his job.When you dont know what else to do, thats a pretty good plan Strive to be the Steady Eddie that everyone else can count on while you figure out your next step.2. Look Out for Chances to Be Happy for Other PeopleAdmission time I get pitched all the time by people who are younger than I am and who are making tons of money. Sometimes I cant help but wonder Why welchesnt I the one with an internet startup at age 14?OK, the strict answer to that is that when I was 14, internet access cost a dollar a minute. The broader point is that youll be happier and learn mora if you make an effort simply to be happy for others successes- and maybe be willing to learn from them as well.3. Make Connections for OthersAn old friend of mine from school is looking for work. It turned out, another friend of mine from a completely different social circle has a connection at a company that my school friend might be perfect for. Will it work out? I dont know, but making the connection made me feel great.I think it s important to take these kinds of steps without looking for any kind of quid pro quo. Personally, I cant predict the future, but I think its unlikely Ill ever be looking for another full-time job again, so thats not my motivation here. But helping others in any way helps you take your mind off your own problems.4. Say Thank YouChances are you see someone every day who has a thankless job- literally thankless, as in, nobody ever thanks him or her for doing what they do. Maybe its the doorman or the bus conductor. If you cant think of someone who fits the bill, imagine a traffic cop giving parking tickets.Think about how much it means to that person on the rare occasion when someone actually says, thanks for what you do. Imagine how hell feel about you when youre that person5. Prune Your BelongingsI have the zeal of a convert on this one. If a physical thing- clothes, books, papers- doesnt give you joy, the best thing to do is to give it away. 90% of Americans have 2,000% more stuff than they need- or even want.(Hat tip, obviously, to the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo)6. Share Your KnowledgeNothing makes you feel better or more useful than simply sharing what you know with other people. Much like looking for the North Star when youre lost, look for chances to teach others when youre not sure what else to do with yourself.What do I know? Well, if you want to write a book, write an internet column with a million readers a month, or learn how to run a super-effective marketing campaign on Facebook, email me. (Also, I can teach someone to drive a stick shift and parallel park on a hill like nobodys business.)7. Visit SomeoneThe scarcest commodity any of us has isnt money its time. That means sharing your time with others is also your greatest gift. The truth is there are people for whom that gift is more precious than you can ever imagine.We named my baby daughter after my wifes 90-something grandmother, and one of the most joyous momen ts weve had was bringing her to meet her namesake in the nursing home.8. Say Im SorryYou dont need to go through life guilt-ridden, but there are things weve all done to hurt others- intentional or not- that we never got around to apologizing for. Taking that step is always a positive move.I woke up recently remembering a class in junior high. We had to write stories each week, and I turned a classmate into a recurring character long after it was clear she was not comfortable with the attention. I dont want to call her out here- even after all these years- but on the off chance she might read it, maybe shell remember. If so, Im sorry9. Say I Forgive YouRelated to the last one, of course, we all have people we need to forgive. Maybe its a family member, or a colleague, a friend- or even someone who doesnt know you well or even know what they did wrong.In my case, at that saatkorn school I was picked on by a group of bigger kids. Decades later, Im not sure if theyd even remember, but I forgive them. (Caveat Thats not the same thing as forgetting. You can forgive someone but still never trust them again.)10. Show Up (A.k.a., Go to the Funeral)There are moments when other people need you there, and while Im fortunate not to have had many occasions that fit the bill for this example, showing up at the funeral of someones loved ones is at the top of the list.My friend Griff taught me this lesson, when I went to his fathers wake a decade ago. To my mind- of course I would go. Thats what friends do, no matter what other ways their lives are tangled at the time. Still, to his credit, Griff has never forgotten, and Im glad it demonstrated how much I valued our friendship.More From Inc.5 Ways to Navigate When Stuff Goes Painfully WrongEven the Worst Mistake Can Be Forgiven- If You Do This10 Mistakes Smart People Never Make TwicePhoto of man looking frustrated courtesy of Shutterstock.